I HAVE MOVED!

Okay it's not really big news since not alot of ppl rread my blog but i thought that it would just be courteous to say so :(

www.speckss.blogspot.com I know, so ORIGINAL :D

WELL LINK ME! And pester me to update more often!

If only the colours in my mind could come out and bare itself on the plain canvas before me. It would after all benefit alot of people; me, you, him and her, right? As I said earlier, I didn't feel the need to explain myself to anyone.. Hmm. Well, I'm obviously a wreck lately. New emotions run through my head and body and I try my best to screen these emotions into ones that prolly aren't as.. well, emotions that I'm willing to compromise to.

Well, I definitely wish the best to myself in being able to not be so -as people may refer me to- emotional. Ahh.. right.

Sally sally, come with me.
Oh where to darling?
Does it matter where we are going? Is it not enough that anywhere gone together is sweet and blissful enough?
I am sorry, excuse my ignorance my dear. I should never have questioned you.
'Tis alright my dear. Now come, let us go.
And there they go frolicking through the plains and into the unknown.
Oh dear, this place is simply wonderful! The smells, the atmosphere and of course there is you..
Hush, my love. Let us not ruin the love between us with what there is to say but let us share with each other what there is to feel.
Sally and her unknown lover then make love till the wee hours of the morning. Stamina my dear friends, is the key!
Oh my, that sure was beautiful.
Sally my dear, what is beautiful is you and nothing else.
Darling, is this true? You say such sweet things to me and there is no other I would rather love but you.
Sally..
From sunny skies to skies of a purple hue, Sally and her lover played in their haven and did things that lovers usually did together. Oh what a lovely couple! Nothing can ever break this special bond that is shared between them.
Dear? Are you there? I am finally awake, ready  for another day of fun and adventure! Oh, I had the most wonderful dream where you and I had 3 kids, Pott, Potty, Potter and sweet young Mary-Anne. Dear, are you there?
The crickets felt bad for Sally and tried with much effort to kill the silence of the surroundings.
Of course he'll come back. He loves me.. we even made love with full feeling! He is not one to take advantage of a love that is so pure and true for him. Oh dear, maybe he left because I did not say enough. Maybe I did not succumb enough to the act of making love as much as he'd like! It is my fault.
As Sally continues to battle with her thoughts, the skies decide that it was time to sleep.
Sally then notices a note carved on a rock. Oh this must be a romantic note I reckon! She then reads it aloud..
Sally, you have body that would make even the most beautiful god cringe with envy. It was after spending countless of -gruelling, or none for some- hours with you in this place that I had decided that I could not love you. You are too dependant on this love. You need me, whereas, I don't need you. I shall try to say this in the most professional and old-time-ish way.. Goodbye. There are no sweet words that can even try to dampen the effect that I'm sure it will have on you. So yes, sex was good but here I go!
Sally shrieks with despair and anger. Was this love.. is this the love that she often heard people talk about? The kinds of love where the lover would constantly shower her with sweet flowery words, and soft gentle whispers of 'I love you's? Obviously it was not and Sally knew this.
Goodbye sweet and cruel world! How can I ever live on with knowing that I had been cheated by the most sought after emotion in the world. No, I cannot! So with this, goodbye..
Sally takes up the rock and hammers herself to death. Oh, how tragic! And the story ends..

Oh the irony :P

I've come to my senses that the thing that is breaking me down is the thing that people would be proud to be.

Pic frm: *kixvn, deviantart.

Oh, how devastatingly sad it is that this is the truth that I finally see.

P/s: Not emo but is merely an epiphany :)
P/p/s: Epiphanies occur at the most random of moments. Like on the route back to home.

Tuning into: The Fratellis - Babydoll.

I don't feel the need to explain who I am, now.

Which is better?
Hollow or heartless?

What a tough month. So much heart-scrunching moments. So much heartache. So much foul moods. So much frustration, sadness, disappointment. Yet no one knows. All the sigh's, all the quiet thinking moments, all the moments spent staring into space wishing that this toxic feeling would leave. Yet all the keeping it in has only helped to cultivate and accumulate the frustration, the pleads. It is so tiring. I am so tired of feeling like some bitter person and tearing because I know I've been bitter esp to ppl who don't deserve me to be spreading this kind of aura. It's only been lately that I feel so.. weird. Like I'm all smiles and laughter with friends but when I'm not, I'll be just curling into a ball and I don't move an inch but my mind is going crazy. All the tries to coax myself into feeling normal and the tries to tell myself that it'll pass. But it hasn't, it's just accumulated. And maybe when I look back in a few days I'll laugh at how pathetic I am now. How I let such things get to me. Such petty stuff. But now, I feel so, binded. So caught in this vortex of negativity. I get so easily angered and frustrated. I get ticked off at my mum. I get so sensitive. And this doesnt help. This things said, the ignorance that I need someone to cheer me up the disapointment when you look to someone wishing they would free you from this feeling yet you find that that person can't and that only helps bring you down more. The plead to hear something that you're longing to hear.. but you don't hear it in the end. The wish that someone would care more and be there for you and realize what you're feeling even when you don't say it. Useless useless useless. All the false hope... Yes. It truly has been a tough month. Maybe I'm asking for too much. Maybe you can give me the stars but I insist on the moon. Or maybe you're not even giving me the sky. Everytime I try to reassure myself but maybe things just are the way they are. The black, the black. And the white, forever white.

This is for the girls!

People have come and go in our little circle of ours. Some come and leave a memory whilst some didn't even belong in the first place. I try to be open minded abt the people that enter and sometimes I feel sad when some left. Before it was us Zaf, Kelli, Sarah, Sam, Lisha and I. I guess things don't change because we still are like colours on a spectrum. All very different from each other. I suppose that the one thing that brought us closer was that all of us played netball except for Sam? Haha, I used to think.. "Wow! Everyone in our group is good at something." And I still think that way :) The one thing that I was really proud of was that everyone in this circle was a good person, we weren't like those bunch of girls who talk about all those little fancy rainbow paris hilton lovin kinda things. We were different :)

We've been through so much. All the "Shit laer, we came first how come we don't get to sit =_=" and trying to fit us into tables! And the "I can't believe she did that!!!!" Well, hehe we gossiped :F All the birthday "SURPRISES" for each other. HAHA. Seriously though, gotta work on that! But yeah, we sure had our moment where we would laugh so hard we couldn't breathe.

And though now, things are different. New people have come and some have gone what with the new boyfriends and friends, all I wish for is that everyone is happy to be where they finally are. Though parting was not easy, I'm glad that they too get their own happiness even if it means leaving us :P Hehe. Buut hey, everyone deserves the right to be happy yes?

I guess it's just upsetting that I feel that we're so close yet so far. I know that we're still good friends but of course, it's not as good as before. Perhaps I was not a good enough friend and perhaps this one is. Whatever it may be, I just hope you don't chuck me to the side because it'd be a waste to throw away this friendship.

Action always speaks louder than words. I believe it's time to put your beliefs into motion.

Olivia, thank you for being such a great friend. I know I don't show it often and we don't talk as much as we used to but thank you :)

All in all, thank you guys so much for everything. I suppose it is difficult for me to say how much I really am grateful for all you've done.. So if you're reading this; I love you guys so much.