Ahh! Going crazy with this new routine that only involves Study, sleep, eat, bath bla bla bla.. no going out :( Well, they didn't say that but it is SO IMPLIED. Since i'm not even allowed to go out with volleyball buddies to play badminton :( I was crushed... esp since this is exercise man =_______________= Garghghg.

I dont know why i'm going crazy already esp since I just started doing the study routine like.. Yesterday? HAHa wth. (And I am minusing a few hours :( BUT ITS NOT THAT I WANT TO I JUST CANT :( :( I"M SO HUNGRAAAAAAY.)

This holidays I think.. I'll end up being fat. Not because I'm eating alot of MEALS but rather SUB-MEALS.. OR JUNK. T_______T Omgai man...........................

I think you can tell today's entry is not one with ze proper english.

MOVINGZ ON. I got pictures and I've been doing this kinda like.. A picture a Day kinda thing but of course I'm not doing it like.. I MUST GET A PICTURE A DAY... nah, it's for fun :) So ladies and gentlemen, these are the pics of my week. Don't assume they're all like.. Ooh this pic is Monday.. This pic is Tuesday.. It's random. :D

Lalalala. Here you goooo!

Went to the market and I saw Hippie Van :D

And in the market, I ate Thosai Tisu and drank Limau Suam since they didn't have ice :(

The view of the primary school from the bunch of those flowers which we used to suck the nectar from when we were kids?

Suyiin gave me a cccoooooookiee! (L) I love you yiin! Thanks you I like it :3

LIKE YAY. Finally after a FEW WEEKS OF CONSTRUCTION KFC IS BACK WITH A SPANKIN SMEXY LOOK :D:D:D:D:D:D HOW MANY 'KFC' WORDS DO YOU SEE? I see five :D This is like advertisement to the maxxxx :D:D Hehe. It really does look very nice :)

Ate here on Sunday morning. This place serves kinda like a mixture of western and oriental breakfast :) Sarah likes it here and it's in the heart of KL :D Heehee I drank Milo Ais and ate roti BABI. @_@

The view frm the outside of the shop! KOOOL EH?! I fink so.

The popular at/near Petaling Street.

Temple near Petaling Strreeet :)

Oh Woowz. Such wonderfuul pictures I sure had fun how bout you?!?!

I am very restless and hungry. Please excuse my language in this entry. I HAVE TUITION LATERKJDKSJKDJASKJDKLSAJDA.. Die lorr..

GooBAI T_T

p/s been listening to DCFC's I will Posses Your heart alot. I love it! It's so enchanting, haunting lol. Err. I play it lots :D
p/p/s: I love you adriaaaaaan! : l *hugsss*

 Hello all. It's been a 'rough' time lately, more to the self inflicted path of course. I didn't do to well for my Trials and I suppose that these are the marks that I deserve since I got them right? xD Well, only thing to do is to look forward and try really hard. I can't lie that I'm feeling rather demotivated but I'm sure we all have our moments. So FTW! Lol.

For my trials, I got 2D's, 2C's and 4B's. Oh em gee some of you might be thinking. Well to salvage abi of your respect for me (hehe) we IGCSE students have to get 80 and above for A's and 70 and above for B's :( No complaints tho! D's for add maths and English. Oh gosh, I fear that getting a D for English would make people think of me as being some girl who can't write or speak properly.. I CAN! C's for Phy (T_T) and Bio (very dissapointing) and B's for Acc, Bus, Maths and Chem.

Yes. Not too good. But a few of my classmates did well like Yan and Yuming! Nice one man :) Of course many more did well also la, but it'll take awhile to type all the names out (ceh, suck up)

Lately, things have not been perfect. The feelings that have been felt, the energy drains, perceptions, etc. I suppose that this is just a phase that I will just have to go through like any other phase.

I know it takes me a while to see eye to eye with people's views on things and I know that I just need time to.. comprehend. Because I think.. that I'm a very practical person. It has to make sense for me to understand it easier. It may also be due to my upbringing that I am this way. Of course I am not saying that it is a bad thing, but it does have its.. flaws?

No one is perfect after all and I've never tried to be perfect so I accept it as my flaw and try my best to ease up on it.

That was prolly the reason why I couldnt agree with your actions and I can't say that I still do agree with it because it just doesn't go with who I am. And I know I've done my part and have had my say. So, there really is no reason for me to be upset anymore because in the end the only person that can make a change is yourself. Of course, I don't judge you and I don't think I will ever but I suppose I just need more time to accept that it does happen.

That's the problem with staying in a bubble. You rid yourself of all this knowledge and when you leave that bubble and find out that the world wasn't as how you perceived it to be, you just end up in shock, disbelief and in dissapointment. I blame myself for not exposing myself more to the things that have been happening around me.

I think all in all, you can never EVER EVER judge a book by its cover because you might most probably end up in.. dissapointment.

Regarding friendship,

I know that sometimes I may not be the best friend or that I may not speak to you often or everyday or I don't chat with you on MSN or talk on the phone but that does not mean that I don't appreciate my friends. I just have trouble keeping up with friends ._. this is the BITTER BITTER truth. It's not that I don't care because I really do care abt my friends but it's just the way i am o_o

I have been trying to make myself better and hopefully I do get to show my friends more how much I appreciate all that they've done for me.

So yes, if you have a relationship with me and we don't talk as much as very good friends should, but it will never ever mean that I don't think abt you or that I don't care about you.

This actually applies to a few friends.
Thank you and much love.

In the newspaper I read somewhere that true love is not when your whole world revolves around that person, but when you're mature enough to know who you are and what you want.

I believe that this is indeed a very interesting statement and perhaps it does hold some truth in it. Sometimes when I look at my parents, it's not that they hug a lot or kiss in front of us xD, but.. you know.. I can just tell that they love each other from the way that they talk to each other. The way they listen to each other and converse. They do it with respect. It's not that they shower each other with flowery compliments because my dad is SOOO not the type xD but well.. I guess true love is something you can truly see without them even touching each other. It's like there's this invisible bond between them and it's beautiful.

I can only aspire to have something like that.
Haha. God, feeling a little emotional talking abt how I feel abt my parents xD

Family,
That is my number one.
And it will never change.

Family to me is the most important thing for me. I know that I don't have MANY  friends but it doesn't really matter because I feel that I have a wonderful family and it all just balances la :P

Words, truly, truly cannot express how strong my emotions are for my family. Without them, I truly am nothing. And I don't say this like an empty nut, I mean it in the greatest way possible. No one will ever love you as much as your family will. They will never judge you, they will always be there no matter what and to do that is already a great feat.

Also, props to my dear friends whom are feel are almost like my family. No amount of riches or gold can ever sum up to how much they are worth. Priceless and special in their own special way.

I know that I'm not the tallest, thinnest, smartest, prettiest but I feel richer than all of that combined. To have people treasure you for the way you are, hair and all xD Yes, this is a blessed life.

I am not perfect, but it is alright.
I would never want to be.
My life is beautiful with its imperfections.
And my friends and family are the colours in my life,
making everyday awessssoome!

Heh, if it's sappy' sorry ya'll!

 
Credit: *emaleth @ deviantart

The winter is here and no one is around. No one but me. The hallways echo the sounds of the long forgotten. But I still speak. The streets are empty. Only I can fill them. The space is infinite, for me to try to fill.

The silence is no longer friendly. Burning me, treating me with hostility. Emotions have run dry like the tears that can no longer flow. This is what I have become.

I am emotionless. I am hollow. I am nothing. Sadness? What is that? Happiness? Is there such a word? I only respond to warmth.

I long for the days of play with the people whom matter. I wish for the suns' rays to hug me tight. For the sounds of laughter and joy to echo in my ears. For the sight of happiness.

Though I fear that I can no longer wait for something that might never appear. Absence is here and we cannot co-exist. Because of this, I falter. Because I'm weak. Because it's inevitable. Because this is my world; I fall.

Tuning in to: Nirvana's About A Girl.  Yum yum!

So yes, exam fever is in the air for these little O Levels candidates. Today was totally anal no doubt. Please laer, whose so smart as to put Phy 3, Chem 3, and Business paper 1 on the same day?! THATS SO FRYING.

Anyhoos, here I am with about like 5 thousand dead brain cells. Just to share something I created and god it makes sense!

Try to decipher it :D

You can kiss a polevault,
Or stab a trusted dog,
They'll be the biased refree,
to maintain the fibres in the log.

You can stone your hen,
Or fraud your white paper,
But the dog with it's tail behind,
Will still follow you home later.

You can murder your curtains,
or even drown a fish,
The bears will still be lame,
Like sticks on a leash.

Why the prejudice thoughts,
Or the preference in 'unacceptable' acts,
Is the black, the white,
When the stars lack?

Perhaps we should say,
"Come our turtles, let's play!"
Dispose of the unfair thoughts,
And thoughts befor say.

Okay that's all I've thought of so far. =_= Well I hope I can continue it because I think it hold alot of truth. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, it's just I thing I suppose.

Lately there's been alot of things polluting my mind. All the negativity and all. I feel like it's causing me to be biased and I know this is merely a phase but god! I need my mind to be free. Like a clean slate you know?

Yuming said I'm becoming more rude D: Omgai la. I must stop myself before I become any worse o_o. Well he keeps calling me asshole and things like dick*toot* which doesn't really help! xD It's okay tho, we're used to it. Haha. What a weird boy.

Sigh. There's just so many things to question right now. So many unsettled things like wth laer, why am I so.. complicated? Why can't I just eat, shit, breathe, laugh and be happy? Why do humans chooose to complicate their lives? It's cause we can't live without the drama! We can't live with the simple routines! Always wanting to be involved in this and that and listening abt other ppl's lives even if it doesnt concern us at all.

Haha, I'm definitely a victim of that. Cause gossip is woww. All this estrogen hormones. Bleh.

I suppose that this is where I shall say my goodbyes and hope live goes well for you :) Think circles! They're neverending lol.

(Felt the need to highlight and bold the good words :P Except frying of course. That's to exaggerate. Heehee)

You can tell me that I'm this,
But I won't believe it.
You can try to change my perception,
But it will still be the same.

How can I try to change something that I believe in.
I suppose that I can't get you to understand how I feel,
but that would only mean that it would be equally difficult to try a fathom what you're trying to convince me on.

How do you actually change your perception of things? I would say that it does take me awhile to change my perception but I know that I am not someone who will shut out the possibilities.

Of course, it is hard to accept that you could be wrong about things. Which is the reason why I believe that you should never be TOOOO sure about something. Well cause in the end, you might just end up being wrong and thus, embarrased.

But then again, sometimes it is hard to try and convince people that you are right. Even after you tell them over and over, you swear, you shout.. to try to proove that you are right.. no one will believe you unless they want to.

Annoying I know.

Argh...

I don't know why but lately I've been losing hope in.. humans. Malaysians, humans.. just people.

The norms are..wow. Everyone wants the same thing. They want to live the good life, they want lots of money, they want this and that and everything, but alot don't want to work hard for this..

They want wisdom, but they want it instantaneously. They don't want to feel the pain, the difficulty. Sigh.

I guess, I really truly look up to people who work hard for what they want. I look up to people who do things eventhough it's difficult for them. I look up to people who read alot. Heck, I even look up to Chalid! He's so smart and he knows how to play the guitar and all. I look up to athletes. I look up to people who juggle their schedules so well.

I guess it is due to my hormones and coming of age that I feel so.. passionately (?) about this. About working hard, about humans nowadays and how much they make me shake my head.

It just upsets me so much that even I am taken aback by how much pain I feel for the human race. I suppose that this is because I am merely looking at the bad things. But it really is hard to look beyond our doings, global warming and all.

And whats worse is that you feel so helpless in moments like this when so many are like this and you don't know what to do!

GAAAAAAAH I am just  very very very frustrated la.

So for English, we got a question with a poem on a Greek myth. It's quite interesting so I shall post it up.

Well, as it says:

This is a poem called Echo and Narcissus. The poet is re-telling an ancient story in which Echo falls in love with Narcissus. Echo is unable to say anything original; she can only repeat the end of what another person has already said - like an echo. Narcissus is a youth who can fall in love with no-one but himself.

The moment Echo saw Narcissus,
She was in love. She followed him
Like a starving wolf
Following a stag too strong to be tackled.
And like a cat in winter at a fire
She could not edge close enough
To what singed her, and would burn her.
She almost burst
With longing to call out to him and somehow
Let him know what she felt
But she had to wait
For some other to speak
So she could snatch their last words
With whatever sense they might lend her.

It so happened, Narcissus
Had strayed apart
From his companions.
He hallooed them: "Where are you?
I'm here." And Echo
Caught at the syllables as if they were precious:
'I'm here,' she cried, 'I'm here' and 'I'm here' and 'I'm here.'
Narcissus looked around wildly.
'I'll stay here." And 'Come to me,"
Shouted Echo. 'Come to me,'
To me, to me, to me.'
Narcissus stood baffled,
Whether to stay or go. He began to run,
Calling as he ran: 'Stay there.' But Echo
Cried back, weeping to utter it, ' Stay there,
Stay there, stay there, stay there.'
Narcissus stopped and listened. Then, more quietly,
'Let's meet halfway. Come.' And Echo
Eagerly repeated it: 'Come.'
But when she emerged from the undergrowth
Her expression pleading,
Her arms raised to embrace him,
Narcissus turned and ran.
'No,' he cried, 'no, I would sooner be dead
Than let you touch me.' Echo collapsed in sobs,
As her voice lurched amont the mountains:
'Touch me, touch me, touch me, touch me."

Echo moped under the leaves.
Humuliated, she hid
in the deep woods. From that day
Like a hurt lynx, for her
Any cave was a good home.
But love was fixed in her body
Like a barbed arrow. There it festered
With his rejection. Sleeplessly
She brooded over the pain,
Wasting away as she suffered,
The petal of her beauty
Fading and shrivelling, falling from her -
Leaving her voice and bones.
Her bones, they say, turned
Into stone, sinking into the humus.
Her voice roamed off by itself,
Unseen in the forest, unseen
On the empty mountainside -
Though all could hear it
Living the only life left to Echo.

Well, I really enjoyed this poem! Hope you enjoyed it too :)

Anyways, moving on. I've been tagged by Sir Anya.

1. last cigarette?
I will never touch one, please.

2. last beverage?
Ribena which was a tad bit too sweet.

3. last phone call?
Daniel and then Adrian!

4. last text message?
Adrian >.>

5. last online chat to?
Talking to Tze Lun now about something in To Kill A Mockingbird

6. last song played?
I'm listening to Lithium by Nirvana and before that it was Sound Garden - Black Hole Sun

7: last time you cried?
A week ago I presume or a few days before that.

8. last meal?
EAting now! Chicken fingers kinda nuggets! Yummm!

SEVEN have you's:
1. have you ever dated someone twice?
yes.

2. have you ever fell in love with someone you shouldn't have?
I don't think so O.o

3. have you ever kissed someone & regreted it?
Nope.

4. have you ever said something you regretted?
Indefinitely. Hate it when it happens cause I'll be thinking how I was a fool.

5. have you ever lost someone?:
Yes. Friends, myself.

6.have you ever slept until 2pm?:
I suppose there might have been a rare occasion that I have.

7. have you ever been drunk and thrown up?
Nooo, I don't drink :D

SIX things you did in the past three days -
1. Dwnloaded 40+ songs
2. Dwnloaded Coldplays discography
3. Got a little ticked at mum
4. Wondered if I'm there for my friends
5. Study
6. Had friends over for 'study time' :F

list SIX people you can tell pretty much anything to – (order varies)
1: Samantha Tham
2. Sarahnya Faith Kumar
3. Lim Li Sha
4. Teh Vee Vien
5. Olivia
6. Adrian.

list THREE favorite colors —
1: Orange
2. Black
3. Blue?
It's very hard to choose!

list FOUR things you want to do before you die -
Get a tatoo
Achieve my Dream(s)
Fall in love, Get Married, Have babies. ( All the same and Sarah's)
Lived my life with happiness and with the lease of regrets.

This month have you…
Laughed until you cried:
I cry easily when I laugh, so yeap!

Went behind your parents back?
Mmm, I don't think so.

Went to a party?
Haha, no xD But I was invited to some?

Watched a good movie with your friends?
Watched Dark Knight with Familia.
Kingdom of Heaven with Familia ( FREAKING GOOD)
Planet Earth (partially) with Sam and Sha. It's beautiful.

Made someone angry?
Sigh, wouldn't be surprised if I did. Tend to do this quite often :/

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT:
1. Your first crush?
His name is John Ling and I suppose he was cute. It was in kindergarden okay! How I remember his name, I don't know. Hey, John Ling if you see this.. Hi *eyebrows*

2. Gay Marriage?
No one should live up to societiy's expectations, they should live their own life. So go ahead gay people!

3. Lowering the drinking age?
Have not really thought about it. Anything goes I guess. Doesn't really matter if they really want to drink though.

4. Straight, Gay, or Bi?
I am straight.

5. Who are the best huggers that you know?
Friends whom you know are really there for you. You can feel the love. Adrian! Heehee.

6. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I am not too sure. I suppose that it is possible.

7. Is there something you want to tell someone?
Yes, but I can't cause I know how much she'll overreact.

8. What brand of shirt are you wearing?
Haha some netball shirt laaa.

9. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?
Maybe.... WATCH OUT XD

10. What is your current annoyance?
How......... I'm so plumpy D:
How I'm so weak..
Sigh the list really does go on..

11. How many kids do you want to have?
3 to 4 sound good. No twins for me though xD

12. Do you want to change your name?
Err, It's alright. Don't think I have a grudge against it so I guess it'll stay :)

13. Last time you saw your father?
Last night.

14. What did you do for your last birthday?
Heehee. Surprises surprises! Love you guys :D

15.What time did you wake up today?
6 am =_= buggart.

16. What were you doing at 11pm last night:
Online and texting.

17. Name something you CANNOT wait to do:
Get fit, be smart (LOL), see someone, listen to more music! Lots more la, spend time with my friends.

18. What is your favorite thing in your room?
Computer. Hah. This is in my bros room though. Err, his bed. My other room, I like the birthday cards and other things that friends have given me.

19. Who was the last friend you hanged out with?
Sarah, Sam, Lisha, CLASSMATES in class.

20. Where is your best friend right now?
Sams doing hw/ watching tv I'm guessing
Vien no idea
Sarah's got tuition later on
Olivia I have no idea, maybe playing with creamy? XD
Lisha sleeping?